i shall eat your pussy

2010-08-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

nafa artworks

2010-08-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

nothing much happened today. just show some works done at nafa. i m boring, bear with it.

my first vblog!

2010-08-23T03:15:00.000-07:00

i know its lame. not much too say actually. just really tired, hope you understand.

hate-taggers

2010-01-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

please stop sending me nonsense tags cause it is making me irritated and someone elso too.

THIS BLOG IS DEAD! GOT IT?

the return

2009-11-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

i know my blog died a long time ago.
i just feel like blogging all of the sudden.
the urge is there, so why not do it.
i ve been busy nowadays.
i got a job at vivo city tangs as a promoter of urbaninc.
anyway, i am not loving my job. will tell you in another post.
i dont feel like talking about it.
tmrw there willbe a huge sales at tangs so i must get myself ready.
but whatthe fuck am i doing now? facebooking at msn at 1.42 in the morning?
i think if mimi was here, he would force me to sleep. hahahah!
okay, i miss my botak boy.
NS has captured him when we fell in love *tragic background music*
damn, i seriously need rest.
goodnight people
oi to the world.

tekap buah dengan sireh.

2009-09-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

i just found out my mom put sireh on a hot glowing charcoal and leave it to warm.
then she dab or should i say press at both of her sons' balls when they were young.
she say this is to avoid it from becoming huge so that they wont feel any ball pains or stomach pains.
*smack forehead*
i seriously need a science explanation for this.

2009-09-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

was it wise? i do not know.
yet i still pondered about what's been going through.
what if time was never enough?
enough to prove ourselves worthy of what we are.
what if i am meant to be an incomplete project?
the green monster grows in me every time i see people with smiles and alot of other stuffs.
yet i know that i could be them too if i just position the missile.
many said i m an independent mature young lady and yes i do appreciate the compliments.
but i do not know if i agreeable to such things.
i always seem to know what i am doing. actually, i am just scared.
not of the consequences but scared if what i did satisfy my heart.
and i do not want to make any promises to anybody, so stop your assumptions.
but from what i know, i am not a girl that regrets of what she is now and what she became now.
i m sorry, but i not leaving the life i have now.

also, i would try my very best to keep him away from anything or anyone trying to hinder what we're building. i am prepared to take up more challenges and i will always stand my ground.

confusion

2009-09-09T00:52:00.000-07:00

its been quite some time now.
yet, i do not know what i want to do next.
age is an issue they say, but fuck care.
i once told myself not to fall for one.
but this one got me hooked up real well.
i still dont know what i am doing is right.
but everyday, my feelings grow again and again.
if i were to say what i feel truly, will even worth the try ?
i wish i could have him yet i m afraid.
i m afraid if he ever stray from me.
or what he actually wants from me.
i wanna be someone for him.
i wanna be his only.
i just wanna be with him.

my skinhead

2009-09-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

He got me good, he got me well
And he makes my heart pound and swell
Shaven heads and bovver boots
And how he never forget his roots
Walking down the streets with full of pride
With his mates in unity side by side
He always fight for his rights
Beer on his hands and drunken nights
Adores the way he exterminate racism
Not to forget, the unsightly fascism
He's a victim of society but i don't care
I don't find it as a flaw or a scare
This are the things that impresses me
And i m loving everything cant you see
Now that everything has been said
This is what my call; my skinhead
Oi! Oi!

by Ninawonder Byrd.

LIPAS

2009-08-23T00:40:00.000-07:00

I HATE THESE CREATURES.
THEY MAKE ME SCREAM IN THE MORNING AND MAKE ME HAVE BAD DREAMS. GRRRR!

deep inside

2009-08-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

it didnt turned out like how it was suppose to be.
am i asking for too much? i dont think so.
its a need in every young women.
but i know i must take care of what i have now.
sometimes it just hurts to see and feel that you dont care
where is the love and attention i need
from my perspective, you are very kinetic
u need to go through to understand.
but i dont want u to. i hate seeing you fall.
neither do i wanna swallow everything
at the same time, i have been through worst than this.
yet i still do not know why i am feeling this way
maybe my heart yearned for it for a long time already
i am tired of leading the pack
i need a break.
could you lead for me?
i dont think you would be bothered
confrontation works?
i dont think so.
i ll just hide in this shell i am currently in
hoping you would notice the frown behind my smile
till now, goodnight.
yours sincerely, andiq nurnina hanani
ps: i dont have much time left to be here

u just unleashed the bitch in me

2009-07-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

i love my good friend.
well she leaked out everything what u said about me.
behind the angelic innocent face, like a girl with a big big uncontrollable mouth.
i aint stupid girl, u even wanted to take my place?
and dont u dare tell me where i should study or not
if you are so brilliant and smart, why ask others to meet ur peaceful quiet needs?
why cant u just use your brilliant mind and concentrate.
do not downgrade me that way or criticize how i express things by a writing material. its true what ***** said, dasar mulut tempayan and due muke.
seburuk2 nye prangai aku tak pure mcm kau, aku nye hati lebih mulia dari kau.
i aint a firestarter like you and i dont wish to gain popularity like you do.
think popularity is everything?
we see how it will crush you.'

P.S i dont bitch about others in blog if they make me to. easily said, u create shit, i create shit double :D

TIRED

2009-07-26T01:55:00.001-07:00

O LEVELS IS DRAINING ME OUT.

I DONT EVEN HAVE MUCH TIME TO BLOG OR USE THE COMPUTER.

I LOVE KHAIRI VERY VERY MUCH :)

2009-07-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

well, just now i had a random talk with tinesh about muay thai, boxing and work out.

and i think i wanna go for boxing just the same as my brother.

but daddy wants me in muay thai.

oh well, i dont know.

i dont wanna be like my mom who beats people up during her secondary school days without specific skills.

i sometimes 'shoik sendiri' wanna be a fighter.

but why dream right nina?

i can just go for it. but somehow of other, something is pulling me back.

H1N1

2009-07-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

swine flu is spreading like nobody's business. i swear. fist is was my cousin who was H1N1 positive then my elder sister. and wow! i have 2 more in the collection, my sister's boyfriend and my brother. i took the test too at CDC to see if i was a positive or negative. luckily, god loves me and i was a negative despite me suffering from 3 of the syndromes. my sayang was worried sake for me. but lucky i was not infected.

i swear to god i miss khairi like fuck.
i swear to god my miss the 'usual people'. i swear to god i miss school like fuck. i swear to god i miss everything that i used to do.

now i am miserably and pathetically at home lazing and doing art. i didnt do any of the work given through lms. i am fully concentrating on art which is already almost done. after so, i am going to study and refresh my memory about the rise and fall of venice. a class test is coming up. even though i am not in school, i fully updated thanks to SHHHAAAAAA! i love you pussy bby. hahahahhah!

seriously, the situation at my house is kinda weird. cause u see sudden health conscious people who used to be un-health conscious people every wear sanitizing their hands like every hour and spraying detol house spray everywhere on everything and toilets filled with detol products and walking around with masks on their faces like pretend to be doctors and nurses.

my mom even tried to wear face mask on my cat -.-

pure boredom that is frustrating

2009-07-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

i feel lethargic. super lethargic.

maybe its because i stayed up one night wathcing A Walk to Remember.

later on i have ngaji sessions.

and i can't meet my sayang till friday.

i m off to do my art.

and also going for a jog after ngaji.

blah blah blah, the same old routine when i am at home.

trust me i am bored, like fucking bored!

khairi

2009-06-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

we've made it through our first step.
i love you khairi, so much.

i would also like to say congratulations to azneil and syahirah.
may your love be never ending.

why i didnt update?

2009-06-29T00:37:00.001-07:00

oh well, too many shits happen someone in terms of family wise which i do not wish to share.

and i just came back from batam for a 3 days 2 nights holiday. the resort was superb though. it has excellent service.

for today, i am just gonna stay at home with no ciggies and tons of homework and art.

maybe at night, i ll go jogging and my 30 minute abs exercise.

till now, toodles.

"khairi bby, i wanna play run run catch catch for 5 times when i meet you kay. i love you boobies,"

happiness

2009-06-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

i am truly happy now.
started a new life.
forgotten about the past times.
the pain, the tears, the suffers.
i have came back to my family.
fun times are always back at home.
i have great friends who accept me for who i am.
i have a great boyfriend that truly understands.
i have more confidence in what i do.
i am much more forward-looking.
and i have dreams that i wont give up on.
for as long as my heart is with these people, my life complete.
i dont need anything more.
for now, my only aim is to try my best in o levels.
and hope i will have a bright future ahead.

would you wanna be like me?

2009-06-08T17:54:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had a fight with my cousin.

she's 13 this year. and she is going in to the secondary school life. it different, you get all sorts of influence everywhere. and the whole family is just so concerned about her and i do not want her to end up like me.

this was what actually happened. her family dissaprove her having boyfriends and this young age. she is naive and easily brainwashed. currently she is in a relationship with this guy. and all these while, i have been helping her to meet up with him and stuff. i wanted her to be happy cause ever since she stayed with me, i will always wanna come home. cause her mom told me to accompany her so she wont feel alone. so i did, i became her bestfriend and her sister. we grew very close.

yesterday. her mom checked her phone and saw the messeges her boyfriend text her. her mom called up her boyfriend telling him to stay away. then she sat beside me and cried. i cheered her up and make things clear why are things this way. besides, her boyfriend didnt say she wanna leave her so why panic?

then later that night when everyone's a sleep. my sister had a one on one chat with me regarding about my cousin. she told me this:

"i dont want u to encourage her about this BGR thingy. if i caught u helping her get through him, you are dead.

and besides nina, you know how it feels wasting your youth on unnecessary hurt.

think about what you go through when you are 14. so young yet so much pain you faced because of a guy. what about when you are 15? the same thing. it hurts badly i know.

you cry till you cant open your eyes, you cry till you're dead sick.

you want the same thing to happen to her?"

when she said so, it opened my eyes. not baecause i wanted to save my arse, because i had that sudden reminisce about my past that i abhor so much. so had a private talk with my cousin about what consequences and how much they all love her. i even told her not to make things worse as her step brother wants to find that guy and beat him up. i told her dont create a short film to a soap opera. yet she ignored, played stubborn and said:

"he will be the last guy i love until the day i die. i wont leave him, i know what i am doing."

people assume, ryanna. people always say they know but the fact is that you dont know. its too early to say such things. you cant tell as all these is in the hands of god.i ve been through alot. got my self beaten up for a faggot, got myself in trouble with the police cause protecting someone whom i thought would love me the same way i do. never ever assume that he would be the one. cause when u do, it will hurt so much when he leaves. and one rainy day wont be enough to wipe away his footsteps. if once you're my age, by all means you could get serious already cause its about time. but at such and age like yours, your risking alot. cause i was your age before and it was the fragile years of my life. you have a living a example here, which is me. look at me, look at what i ve done to my mom and others.

would you wanna do the same because of your desires? would you wanna risk everything you've got for another tom dick or harry? would you wanna fall flat on the ground like i did? would you wanna be like me?

i dont think so. cause i hate what i am in the past. i had to fall down again and again to become who i am now. and the scars are permenant, it cant be erased. its time for you too realize before its too late.

dark circles.

2009-06-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

of course my dear classmates have been wondering where the fuck did andiq nurnina hanani of 4e5 went to as she didnt attend jun holidays classes at all. of course i am stuck at home doing art.

since yesterday, i havent rest my eyes yet. i stayed up all night til now doing this o level art shit. but of course i had breaks such as layan kan my cousin blajar joget tektonik. wtf -.-

"haiyaaaa~budak chaman sekalang manyak susah datang loh." (suare nyonya)

i told madam irda i will finish up my 2 boards with qualitative work by monday.

my lens are dry and my body aches. but its okay, in the name of art, my o level grades and most importantly, my future.

i ll be only attending art lessons and i am aiming for an A grade work. possible?

it is if i put in effort.

get that in your bloody brain nina, i've been on hiatus for too long :(

okay makhluk-makhluk di dunia ini, saya hendak tidur dan saya rasa hendak makan lo mai khai yang berisi man boobies.

si bonchet tuuuu

2009-06-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

i love khairi nak step mane nye sanchi si bonchet gunther wannabe tak menjadi budak rating 10/10 ah beng kia yang sayang kan crown dier pat atas kepale chong of haji lane under arab street hidup mati HL milk so very much.
AMEK KAU!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
seriously lo mai khai, stop asking why the birds are flying. or why the sweet talk cup is there. or other nonsensical stupid questions i cant answer. dont be like rudy please.

i ll die! i beg you!
demam2 nak gi cycle to my house amek rokok, ye lah tuu, amalkan slalu -.-
comel lah awak, saya cinta many2 :)

happy birthday to me on 29th may :)

2009-05-31T01:23:00.000-07:00

on the 29th may, was my birthday. first it started out bad but thanks to people whom i love made it worth while. it has been 3 years since i had a celebration. i would like to thank hanis, alesha, shi ying, fraa for the sabo. although it made my hair fucking hard yet i still enjoyed it. also, i would like to thank my sister; mizye, my cousin; ryanna, alesha my pornstar, aisyah super my super bitch, fatin ayam, ashly(alesha's boyfriend) and abang cave(my sister's boyfriend) for having a wonderful time shisha-ing at arab street. also thanks to certain people whom i dont know at all for giving me a free pack of cigarettes. i hope all of you who celebrated it with me had a relaxing yet awesome moment :D

here are some pictures on 29th may.

KENA SABO SIA!

my sister: mizye

aisyah super, nina wonder and ryanna superhuman

Alesha V and Ashly Ahmad. HAHAHAH!

the sensual and the seductive

'minah-rep' paling fierce. HAHHAHAHHAH!

i wasn't ready!

my super bitch, she's mine!

nina and ryanna

look at the kisses i gave to three of my girls on their boobies :)

BOYFRIEND ABUSE!

ryanna's too shy to be kissed.

mizye and ryanna

my super girl :)

aren't we "beautiful" ?

kfc mates!

four years and still going on :)

me! the birthday girl!

what's up with ashly, sha?

aisyah super and fatin ayam :)

shAshly

awwww, how cute :)

aisyah baby!

weeeeeeeeeeee~

blow nina blow!

happy shisha-ing and eating :)

smoke nina smoke!

choo choo!

smoke machine!

to get these pictures, do visit www.flickr.com/ninawonder

die motherfucker

2009-05-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD! I FEEL LIKE KILLING YOU, BLOODY EGO FUCK TAK SEDAR DIRI STEP MANE PEH 'I KNOW WHAT I DOING IN LIFE' KAU GI MAMPOS CEPAT SUDAH PALA BUTO. BIAR KAU SEDAR SIKET DIRI KAU SAPE! AKU NAK AMEK PISAU AND RODOK PEROT KAU BANYAK-BANYAK KALI AND CUT IT OPEN LEPAS TU PULL OUT ALL YOUR INTESTINE AND TIE IT AROUND YOUR NECK REALLY TIGHT THEN SLAUGHTER U ALIVE! DIE MOTHER FUCKER! DIE! WISH I HAVE NEVER MET YOU LAST YEAR!

GO FUCK YOUR SELF BEFORE YOU WANNA FUCK ME OFF!

2009-05-26T07:00:00.001-07:00

it is still raining, and the rain has erased some of his steps. i am contented now. just waiting for that moment for the sun to shine again. oh god, have mercy on me.

an old friend of mine confessed to me this.

"you're the sweet girl that i know for a long time & i could comfortably be me when i m with you and i never loved a girl so much ever and i meant it. you mean alot to me. love you kay"

oh well, it somehow made me blushed. its been 3 months since i blushed. guess who?

diary of an artist

2009-05-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

dearest diary,

I settled quietly down on the plain grass and placed my brushes on the ground. As I closed my eyes and held my breath, i enjoyed the immense serenity in the atmosphere. I gazed around and i saw a black rose. I questioned myself what could it be doing in such a calm and pure place like this. I stood up and went nearer to the rose. I picked it up, smelled it and i felt a cold breath down my neck. my eyes widen and my lips i bit. I turned my head and i gasped. i saw a demon, and he gave me a smile and asked if i could come over his palace for a little wine. I refused as i do not wish my soul to be left wandering in the pit of hell. Yet, he took my hand, knelt down, and gave a gentle kiss on my delicate skin. He looked up at me and said please, with that convincing smile. I nodded my head and he stood up. He held both my hands and told me to close my eyes. and think of all desires i had in mind. He whispered in my ear saying: open your eyes, love. I lift my eyelids slowly and then i smiled.

His palace was dark yet alluring. So i seek permission for a painting of him. He smiled at me and sat on his bed. I sat down and took out my brushes from my leather bag. Placed the canvas on a stand and i started to dab.

As soon as i was done, i looked at my painting and looked at his bed but he was not there. I felt arms around my waist and turned back. Suddenly, he stole a kiss upon my cheeck. he asked: shall we? in the deepest sensual voice i have ever heard. He lifted me and placed me on his bed and gave me a glass of bloody red wine. As i sipped he went nearer to my neck. Then started kissing very slowly. i felt a sexual aura. I felt like the blood of lust was circulating in me. He pushed me down and i laid. It was the most lustful romance i ever did.

I laid naked, feeling so weak. Till i feel asleep on the demons chest.

I woke up and found myself on the gass fields again with the painting beside me. Woke up shakily on these weak knees. I saw that exact same black rose the demon left, so i went up to it hoping that i could be in his palace again. As i picked the rose up, i realized the torns pricked my finger, and it bled. i sucked my blood and heard a whisper. I heard that deep sensual voice that said: its over, love.

I looked up at the sky and it was grey. The clouds were heavy and rain was imminent. a drop of water landed on my nose. soon, many droplets were falling. and it finally rained. I walked slowly with the painting on my hand. I realized that the painting was washed off bit my bit.

As the rain stopped, and the clouds were clear. the sky was blue and the sun shone brightly. The painting i once held as i walked through the rain, became a plain white canvas as it is.

Here i am sipping red wine in my little cottage, remeniscing about the demon that i fell in love for that short while. Still, it felt like i have been his love for long already..

my friend

2009-05-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

nowadays life has been a pure ball of boredom and i fell several times face down.
it feels different after i finally let him go.
well, it was like me getting up back and walking with wounded knees.
at first it bled horribly but now some wounds heal but not all.
there is this friend of mine that acts as an antiseptic cream which helps me to heal a little bit more faster.
and i have known him since primary school days till now.
he is known as khairi and he makes my troubles melt away.
cause my mind is off from everything when we slack.
thank you, i appreciate that alot :)

just now i met zul and tina to study my peribahase and after so i went to meet khairi. then we slacked and i disturbed him.
since now i lost my voice, thanks to stormking gulung, its hard to communicate to him so i used up my voice and embarrass him at our slacking place.
and he went like 'okay, cukop cukop... stop stop... diam lah!' hhahhahahahahah!
and kept making voices that guys find it EXTREMELY TURN OFF SIA!
after so, we went met haziq.
then haziq was spooking us out as he opened the topic about ghosts.
and khairi takot nak balek. HAHAAHAHAHHAHH!
and when i reached home, i waited for the time to reach 12 and i wished my mom HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

and someone told me this: HE MAY HAVE DROPPED U DOWN, U LOST UR WAY IN YOUR EDUCATION, U LOST YOUR WAY IN HEALTH BUT NO MATTER WHAT, DONT LET HIM MAKE U LOOSE YOUR WAY TO YOUR STRENGTH OF STRONG WILL WITHIN. STOP CRYING, IT HAS BEEN TWO MONTHS. I RESPECT YOU AS U WERE THAT PATIENT. YOUR A STRONG GIRL, NOW SET YOUR SELF FREE.

thank you, i will take your advice.

i am not your princess, it wasnt a fairytale at all. thanks hilmi for making me who i am now. thanks for all the experiences we had that made me into a stronger and a patient person. now we both have have to fly seperate ways and be free from the past. lastly, to whoever that wants to be his, please please please take very very good care of him. i mean it.

happy birthday andiq faris haziq

2009-05-19T04:45:00.000-07:00

today is my brother's birthday, he turned nine today.
so i will sing a custom made birthday song for him!

happy birthday to you.
your seluardalam is blue
you berak tak tutop pintu.
thats why i love you :D

now i m waiting for his surprise party to start.

and people, 10 MORE FUCKING DAYS! *ehem ehem*

phrase

2009-05-18T02:50:00.000-07:00

this phrase is said by imran(rockers) and i find it catchy

NO JOKE NO FUN

NO FUCK NO SUN

sorry i ve got nothing much to blog about.

save lives of the weak hearted

puck armpit hair, dont shave and use deodorant.

goodbye, eat cereal.

repeated dreams

2009-05-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

i am tired. super tired.
but at least i m not moody unlike someone.

haiyo uncle hilmi, your PMS rabak sia.

anyway, i finsihed exams.

last paper finally!

mdm neethu set a bad bio paper.

it was easy but way too many mistakes.

and she cant even speak properly.

today, i m about to go to gym but my dear aisyah super partner didnt text or call me.

if she doesnt that i ll go with rudy, the insane boy that stays me.

today i had this dream, a weird one. and its not the first time.

some of you might know this but i ll just elaborate for those who dont.

i dreamt of me in a plain grass field and i was wearing white.

the environment felt so clean and so pure yet very simplistic.

as i walked further down, i saw my apek/ah kong, i mean zulhilmi. haha!

so without hesitation i went up to him and sat beside him.

so we talked and laid down like those couples in the movie kinda thing.

suddenly, he hugged me and cried and say

"i wish i could be with you again but i cant cause YOU have to go. i m sorry nina, i love you"

so i was like "huh? what do u mean"

just as he was about to reply, a black hole sucked me in and soon after i realized i was in an empty dark and cold place with no doors no exits.

and i kept crying and crying like a small little girl whose candy got stolen.

i find it rather contradicting as what does he mean by 'YOU have to go?'
its rather threatening too. and this is not the first time.

the first time i had this dream was when i fall really ill after he left me and it went on constantly for 3 whole days.

now it has been a a month plus already and that dream came back haunting me.

sometimes i feel i shouldn't take it too hard but i reckon i shouldn't ignore at all.

i believe that all this has a meaning behind it. and i am dying to know it.

what if its imminent? i have to do something as i do not want to get fucking haunted by that dream.

Vanity

2009-05-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

its excessive pride.

its in everyone.

its in the 7 deadly sins.

afraid of loosing my pride.

and i do admit that.

still, the ones that make me swallow my pride are the ones i love.

hilmi, why am i not over you?

2009-05-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

the picture above depicts a girl sleeping with someone's clothing over her.

that girl is me.

its me with your hoody.

it has been more than 2 months since we break up but why am i not feeling the love fading away.

yesterday we had a little agrument. i do admit i strated it first.

but i cant help reacting that way, i envy her.

i know its over-reacting but this envy feeling grew strong when a girl nears you.

yes i have no right, i m just someone in your past.

yet this someone has been there for you for since the day i met you till now.

and what hurts most is that, i keep catching you in the race but u keep pushing me way.

i fall, i fall really hard. but i never fail to stand.

and even if you told me that you wont clear your shit up even if i already cleaned mine, i still want to help u clear the shit together.

call me pyscho, call me stupid.

but i dont waste my energy for no reason, i waste it on someone special like you.

yet the crowd says, why help someone who is mean to u and u have to give in to him.

but i just say, i dont know why, but the love just cant be erased.

i do admit sometimes it hurts so much that it rained.

but even the rain cant clear the steps you left.

even the thunders arent louder than your voice.

i wouldnt cry yesterday for no such reason.

i cried because i feel hurt, bit by bit.

yet i told myself to breathe slow.

but thank goodness, you have helped me to become a stronger person.

the pain i felt by you was more painful that khairil's pain but it was somehow more rewarding.

they say that people who are patient will get rewarded in the end.

i guess its a blessing in diguise.

you can take your love away from me but you can never take away my strong will.

i am as stubborn as you.

fitness

2009-05-12T04:04:00.000-07:00

today was quite of a tiring day actually.

i went to school, flung my geography test.

i did only half of the paper and sleep, yazid slept all the way, aishah wrote bullshit and slept too :D

then i wrote on a piece of paper writing about when mid-year is gonna end.

cause i dont find it as a test actually, i find it a LAST-MINUTE blockage in my o-level preparation.

to other schools it help. but my school? naaaahhhhhh.

the teachers would take their own sweet time studying then a week before mid-year they zoooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm~ all the way and poor students like me eventually got lost. wonderful isnt it?

i also wrote a promise to miss wahidah that i will pass my geography on preliminary examinations and also O-levels.

i event wrote mdm Neethu rocks \m/

speaking of \m/ remind me of the gig i went on saturday, yest i watch the video and saw me moshing mcm chopstick melayang.

due to such reasons i decided to GET BACK IN SHAPE!

i m not fat, i m skinny but shape as in muscles!

after school, i went to gym at pioneer with aisyah super.

so i became a mini personal trainer for her.

at first she was having difficulty with some equipments but she manage to pull through.

oh well i set simple targets for her since she wanted to loose weight.

like only 10 minutes per machine as a stepping stone for her.

then we did inclined sit ups and lots of stretching and aisyah screamed when she was forced to do split -.-

so after this session this is what i want by end of this year. i want:

firmer thighs and a little bit bigger.

biceps and triceps

my ASS back when i was 14.

flat firm tummy

full size B cup(i am an overflowing A but not full B)

nice toned calves

the only thing i m happy with in my waist :)

so i must eat more, much on tomatoes and papaya. why?

tomatoes keep my skin healthy and my mommy says papaya make your boobs bigger. hahahhahah!

i ll do twice a week visit to the gym, but jogging is essential for 4 times a week.

and yes the picture on top is me, i got ugly figure.

YOU CAN DO IT NINA!

mama

2009-05-10T03:15:00.000-07:00

to all mothers out there in the world. this is a little poem wrote by me. but especially to my own dearest mom.

you were the one that shelters me beneath your wings
and thought how to deal with simple things.
you were the one that thought me how to walk
i was the blooming bud and you were my stalk
though conflicts happens and i was a rascal
yet you still come like an angel when i call
i have been a bad daughter and i hurt you before
somehow or other, i told others that you are my core
core of my heart, my soul, my strength, my weakness
i still love you even though i seem heartless
i m a sinful child, a rebellion and fire-starter
i m sorry if my wrong doings are never as light as feather
i m sorry if i could not bring up that smile again
i m sorry if i sometimes made you insane
i m sorry if your life and positions go awry
i cant promise i ll totally change but all i can say is sorry
i know i have nothing tremendous that i could do
but this poem deep from the heart is all made specially for you

I LOVE YOU MAMA :D

class maken gerek

2009-04-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

this is a very short clip of how me and sha in class.

this is a stupid video. it is candid so the video is tilted one side -.-

if you hear carefully, u can hear words such as dishwasher and butterfly.

this is pure nonsense. funny? maybe. depends on you veiwers.

*i m on the left and sha on the right. the voice that says dishwasher is my voice. the one laughing non stop is sha. you can diffrenciate. seriously.

monotonous

2009-04-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

i just woke up.

didnt go school today.

i was suffering from SMDS.

which simply means Severe Moodswing Disorder.

the cause of it was due to menstrual cramps.

i cant wake up cause i have painful cramps.

and mommy thought i was using that to not come to school.

NABE! FUCKING PAINFUL SIA!

yest was fun and irritating.

iffah took a video of me and shasha physcally abuse each other.

it was funny.

ha. ha. ha.

then after school i went CCK to super's house.

teach and revise the whole topic of cells.

after revising, zul called randomly.

he thought i top up his prepaid.

i didnt.

he made me anxious and kanciong for knowing who top up for him.

he said it was a girl.

i was jealous because i am afraid he might have a new gf.

i know i sound stupid but i love him.

i still do.

eventually, the one who top up for him was his cik imah(HIS MOM).

i was like WHAT THE FUCK!

so after that ivei went back home and sleep.

now i am going to wait for the rain to stop.

i wanna go shop and buy potatoes, carrots and chicken breast.

i wanna cook chicken soup.

i maybe spoiled and lazy but i can cook, sew, bake.

but I CANT CLEAN.

i thank my mom for these skills i have now.

because she said 'U MUST LEARN HOW TO COOK AND BE A GIRL, IN THE FUTURE U CAN BE A GOOD WIFE'

ah ye lah tu. good wife ke dodol. prangai aku da tak betol skrng.

ps. pad aku sedap pasal baru tukar. three cheers for laurier superslimgaurd.

hip hip hopray.

hip hip hooray.

i know i sound monotonous.

pull up my socks.

2009-04-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

alot of things happen. those things with some serious issues.

oh well, i guess my classmates know. it was like a drama scene in the class. seriously.

so i shall not explain much. cause i wanna pull up my socks. i cant fool around anymore. i wasted like 20 printed papers on senarai peribahasa and format surat kiriman rasmi. not to mention, 6 more papers and coloured ink used on my mid-year art.

this was what i told my self: TIME TO GET A LITTLE BIT MORE SERIOUS.

so i bought like o level books and print out alot of notes as a start.

frankly, i'm quite behind time.

my primary school teacher once told me that u can absorb better if u teach someone else. therefore, i am teaching aisyah super crazy. back to becoming a tuition teacher. i even made a timetable cum agreement. SEMANGAT BABE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

boring and arsenal dont be sad

2009-04-19T03:58:00.000-07:00

yesterday i went to meet din, farid and his gf at SMU.
before going out, i know they would be freaking bored so i brought some home made butter cookies and poker cards.
at first i was wondering, why the rest didnt come. well all of them has a rather normal and valid reason except the one that crack me up was salimi's excuse. he said he had to KEMAS RUMAH. BESOK RAYE PE SALIMI? HAHAHHAHAHA!
then when i met them as usual i am quiet, shy shy maaahhh~
after that i invite then to play some card games like taiti and black jack. we gamble in black jack using physical abuse such as slapping the joint connecting your upper arm and the lower arm. sounds pathetic? hell no its not alright. poor farid has very bad luck and din is just enjoying abusing farid. luck just falls upon that skinny skinhead on that day.
since i brought home made butter cookies but farid keeps thinking that i took it from a tin of biscuits. which part of HOMEMADE do you not understand farid. hahahahah!
so when we get extremely bored, we decided to change places and sit at fullerton. along the way, din kene kacau rabak rabak sia. well he says he only speaks english. so i speak to him with british accent and use as much 'chim' vocab as i could. easily said bombard him with english words. well he cant really answer though. farid and his gf was like happily laughing at him. i know i m mean but i was bored.
soon my parents picked me up and went bowling at bukit batok homw NS team. i didnt bowl. instead, i watch soccer. ARSENAL VS CHALSEA MAN! bloody fuck, chalsea won. chalsea won that extra goal cause arsenal's goalie so slenger didnt gaurd goal post and drogba too advantge and he shoots he scores. and he took of his shirt. hahahah! information not needed. i know. and there was once when all heads got like bashed together and in the end all 3 players lying down on the grass maoning and groaning touching their heads. selenger -.-

ITS OKAY ARSENAL, I M STILL HERE SUPPORTING YOU!
got back home and vomitted again. damn it. oh god, cure me please! and today my aunt treat us to lunch yet i still puke. again. what the hell!

AND REALIZE SOMETHING? I TYPE IN RED, RED FOR ARSENAL.

PS: LIVERPOOL, MAN U FANS DONT TERASE.

re: brutality is ego, ego is weak.

2009-04-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

according to my tagboard reply by you. i decide to reply here since typing using tagboard is kinda, well, difficult. cause messeges will be like broken up.

firstly zul, if my info was wrong? what is it? may i know? and i didnt say that i want u to be SOFT-HEARTED. i just want you to realize. sorry if i assume that you ask me to live brutal cause all the time u say 'sialah nina, da tak brutal lagi sak mcm dulu.ape ni sedih2?' yes i can wake up and stop being so called emo but you tell me how? i wouldnt be this emo if the break-up hadnt had happen. true enough i did mistakes but you first broke up with full of confident that you didnt even create a mess in the first place. in this situations most people support you cause they seem u as a 'mr nice guy' icon. you are nice, i admit. but have they ever seen they otherside? it takes six months and see you almost everyday to realize it. u created the spark, i turned it into fire and now its just dust.

secondly, i do admit i nag but all i have said is relavant and wants you to think maturely. you used to call me second mom. i used to feed you and advice you and let you know about the whereabouts in the outside world. cause mom's dont nag for no reason. simply because they love and care. and i am not controlling you. its up to you to take it or not. cause you are old enough to make right decisions. i dont ask you to be like totally nice, just be firm.

also, i make a fuss about it cause i have been too patient with since day one. call me weakling? i dont think so, cause if i ever to describe every detail to a normal typical wants to be a little princess perfect girl, i dont think she can tolerate. but as for you, you tend to like give up easily and just runaway? you cant even stand to tolerate it. and everytime i did mistake, u brag it. but when u do mistakes, i keep it shut, keep quite and stay. cause i think about your feelings if i were to confront. and i wont game until we both clear this up betol2. cause i just cant stand things unfinished. i am not complacent like you.

plus, i didnt say i refuse, you can help as long as it doesnt make your life difficult. and i am not a know-it-all girl. i dont abject you veiws. i just suggest more views to broaden up your perspective. thats my motive. but you assume i wanna object and correct. i only correct you when i know what you do is totally wrong.

i cant find a another guy yet. cause i am just hopelessly devoted. and i do nag, i dont demand but just seek for a little favour but you make it sound like i am so demanding. i dont make rules. now you sound like i have been applying rules to u. whatever i say or so called nad doesnt mean rules. its just suggestions and advice for you. its all up to you to follow or defy. and i dont boast, you just think i am boasting because i talk alot in terms of how you can handle situations. i just speak at the maximal level of my knowledge that i have in me. nothing more.

i dont humiliate you darling, but i do so that you could clearly see and read that i have my own tolerence stage. i just wanna let you know whats happening and infact i dont talk all bad things about you. i still say that you're my best boyfriend to others and i still say the good things about you. even if were to send you a long SMS. you wouldnt be bothered cause i had enough of you running away with unfinished business. you can say you dont bother to entertain but actually the fact is, you dont wanna be haunted about our past cause it might make you go paranoid. you wont be paranoid of somethng if it doesnt concern you in life. ironic eyh? but true.

good that you have your own thinking but dont be too confident that whatever you think i right. and i didnt say that whatever i type or say is right too. cause i dont have ego that is high. at least when you make me realize about my mistake, i swallow my pride and admit defeat if i know i am wrong and finally apologize. as for you, have you ever really accept when i tell you whats wrong in you? u do admit at certain times but mostly, no.

you can run 30000000000000000000000000000000 km away but the truth that haunts you can run as far as you can run for your life. i sound stalky? i am not, its just the unfinish business that will naturally stalk u. not me. get that.

brutality is ego, ego is weak

2009-04-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

this post is specially dedicated to my ex boyfriend, zul alastor.

the reason why i dare to reveal his identity is bacause that i want him to read this since he cant be contacted.

so if anyone come across reading this. do tell him for me if you know him.

brutality.

what is brutality?

true enough you're a tough looking person.

but after everything. there is something that i wanna say.

you told me i m weak. not brutal like you.

u keep on using that word but do you know what it meant?

i had a conversation with alesha today about you.

the conversation goes somewhat like this:

nina:sha, aku mcm tak tahan asal zul mcm gini? its just not him.

sha: aku rase itu bukan dier.

nina: precisely. and he told me to live brutal and stuff. aku bukan dier.

sha: aku rase dier tak brutal.

nina: i got to agree. he is just using the word but deep down he is just soft.

and if aku ckp gini pat dier, he wont accept. kalau orang tegoh him, dier mcm tak leh accept. degil tau.

sha: its ego. ego tinggi. and he is weak. because ego people be ego for a reason. they are just deep down weak. dier tak brutal.

nina: aku agree.

contradicting much?

i guess its kinda true of what she say. she does have a point somehow.

i know if he sees this he is just gonna go: irritating sia. fuck you lah. what u mepek sia. or even he might he might say: semang. anything. whatever lah. this is me.

he is proud to be the person he is now. being someone that its not him. but somehow, the real zul still lies within. i can see it when he fuck me off and me seriously rude and vulgar towards me when i am being nice.

true enough i hurt you before. but whatever you do to me now is too much of what i deserve. until when things are gonna be this way zul? cant u just accept me and stop changing me to be like you? i dont wanna be a mean monster. i wanna be an ordinary human with a heart.

and do you know why u feel fucked up when ure around me? cause you left something behind. that is love. and like i said, you can run but u cant hide from love. its kinda scary how it comes to u and make your day atrocious. and even when you try staying away from me like what you are doing now, u still dont feel right. cause deep down u wonder what has happened to me and what u are doing. ure still worried. you still care.

we both made a huge mess upon ourselves. all this conflicts happen due to the massive amounts of un-cleaned mess. please, its time for u to wake up. its not about me, but its about u. just clear up what u have done. start thinking maturely. u do treat me very bad, but no matter how bad it is, i still care for u and i want you to save yourself before you hit the wall. stop running away zul. how far can you run?

ps: thank you for your help. you are a pain in the ass. but i appreciate what u did for me. i really do. i swear. forgive me, i love you.

empty

2009-04-15T04:25:00.000-07:00

it has been quite a while since i have updated this blog.
here i am too share you a little bit of experience of what i feel.

empty. what is empty?
in dictionaries it is: containing nothing; having none of the usual or appropriate contents.
but to me, it is defined as me.
this morning, i had a talk to with my sister.
she ask me this: are you happy with yourself?
and i said no.
and then she asked me: do i really love myself?
and i stop and pondered for awhile.
just as i was about to say a word, she said that i think too much about others. and never thought about myself.
since young, high expectations were set on me.
when i was a little bud, i panic when i dont finish my homework.
i went hysterical if i dont go to school on time.
i panic if i dont do things right.
and when they ask, i said, its for my parents.
now i have bloomed into a flower.
i changed, drastically.
i look different, i talk different and i act different.
yet, the soft fargile nina deep within still exists.
many says they look at me with a person with a strong heart and strong will.
i do things in life yet i do not know who am i doing it for.
i am empty, i dont fill up my space.
and i dont treasure myself.
i was like this the whole time yet i didnt realize.
it was now until i suffered pain in my life that i realize.
and about zul, he has been someone to me and now he has to go away from me.
i have lost one of my pillars. i got to admit though that i have never loved a guy so much.
he was the first to water this flower and he was the first to wilt it.
now its a bout time to change.
i want to love myself, i wanna feel that empty space.
and i have not been well anymore, i fall sick alot.
i am trying to survive now. i am fighting to live and change before anything happens.
the world is constantly changing, and i dont assume thats peripheral.
anything can come and go anytime.
anything or anyone.

when prince charming went away

2009-03-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

i want to be your princess again zulhilmi.

maybe someday, somehow.

i still love you.

come back to me.

FRENCH HAIR CARE PRODUCTS FOR SALE!

2009-02-11T05:42:00.000-08:00

hello people.
my mom's late boss left her haircare products business to my mom.
and i would love to clear the stocks left.
these products are all from JAQUES DESSANGE form FRANCE.
i am selling these French hair products at a very affordable price.
prices and details are here:

FOR HER

Maximum Nourish range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Conditioner [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Hair mask [price ->S$6 (usual price:S$15.65)]

The Maximum Nourish range is meant for very damage, dry and brittle hair.

Gentle Clay range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Conditioner [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Hair mask [price ->S$6 (usual price:S$15.65)]

The Gentle Clay range is meant for people with problems of oily scalp but dry hair.

Forever Young range (RECOMMENDED!)
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Conditioner [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Hair mask [price ->S$6 (usual price:S$15.65)]

The Forever Young range is meant for mature hair, hair fall problems and those people with not much volume. it provides volume to ones hair as it thickens your hair as stimulates the growth of new healthy hair. it fortifies your scalp too.

Clean and Clear range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]

Clean and Clear range is for people having dandruff.

Healthy Shine range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]

Healthy Shine is for normal hair, dull hair and all types of hair. It will bring the shine back to your hair healthy hair.

FOR HIM

Daily Energising range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Conditioner [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Hair mask [price ->S$6 (usual price:S$15.65)]

its an ideal shampoo for men as their scalp is more sensitive than women. it is for all hair types. it has ivigorate scalp and allows hair to dry faster and also easy styling.

Fortifying range
Shampoo [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Conditioner [price -> S$5 (usual price:S$8.95)]
Hair mask [price ->S$6 (usual price:S$15.65)]

it is also meant for all hair types. it stimultes the growth of new hair providing more volume and also fortifies the sensitive scalp of men today.

delivery will be done for free. do place orders via email or through my number for those who have them.
for any enquiries do email me; confuse_crazy_freak@hotmail.com

advice: do wear all three products for faster results. hair masks are recommended to wear only once or twice a week.

*dear readers, these products are not fake. pictures will be uploaded soon for proof.

vent out anger verbally :D

2009-01-07T05:24:00.000-08:00

well i would like to tell a story.
once upon a time in a far far away land, there was a fucking school at the northern parts lion city called admiralty. no, its not london but singapore.
it was a nice school(before), but ever since a hideous big fat meanie took over the rather mean, but not as mean as the big fat meanie, dwarf, the school became even worse.
she made ridiculous rules and regulations and expect students to obey her like her dogs(sunnguh perangai nazi please).
there was a girl named ninawonder who is currently schooling there and staying for the FINAL year.
just as she thought of looking foward to a new beginning and throwing away all her rebelliousness, the school eventually got shitty-er.
thanks to mdm koh :D she made teachers like dogs and students too. she extend working hours and school hour. she got bloody strict that girls can even have fringes when some fringes were short. she is bloody sacarstic and talks like as if she know it all. she even change the school's ORIGINAL values and made her own liking. even the teachers complain to students that they cant stand her fucking attitude. unfortunately, some teachers wanna be her dog just to get promoted and get higher pay. HOW PATHETIC. yeah, i pity the sec ones. and teachers too. even some teachers are leaving us and wanted to change school. she expect the school to be the next raffles of woodlands. well i tell you what, IN YOUR DREAMS! she's fucking killing the students and turn them to zombies even if the dont take o levels.
but ninawonder is happy as this is her final year! just 9 more months :D

okay, enough of bitching about the principal. but still, it wasnt like this before.
AND MAT REPS AND MINAH REPS OF ADMIRALTY SEC PI ISAP SUDAH!
BUTO, KAU KUTOK-KUTOK KAWAN AKU. MACAM PAHAM LAH SIAL. SATU-SATU KENING SESAME STREET AND PERANGAI TKDE LIFE. AKU SEPULUH KALI JIJIK TENGOK MUKE KORANG. AND SATU-SATU BADAN MCM MAK-MAK. NAK STEP BIG FUCK JALAN SAT-SAT SEBELAH AKU TIME RECESS. ZAMAN BILE MAU FANATIC. PALA PUKI! AKU KENTAL PT SKOLA, BUT DONT STEP ON MY HEAD. YOU BITCHES ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES!
i wish my boots can melayang pt kepale dorang yang bertiam-tiam tak menjadi. macam nak biken dorang tapi i dont want cause salah timing, o level beb. tengok miss teo nye tetek lagi best dari tengok muke scrap dorang. korang kental, tkde life. tkde otak. dasar bodo nak step big fuck. kesian budak-budak ni ye.

the motive of this post nak lepas kan geram :D
and people, i ll be MIA for the moment pasal busy.
aiming for 15 points :D

events

2008-12-15T22:07:00.001-08:00

so saturday, ajak me lepak pls :D

next saturday 27 dec; SKAWARS!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ get up and lets skank!

i plan to go there early2 so get cheaper ticket.

so please tag along with me people :D

getting personal

2008-12-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

its been a while since i blog.

and i m gonna blog.

this time its nt nonsense one.

this time its more personal.

this time its more emotional.

but hell no i m no emo.

emo can go suck apek cock.

hahahhaaahhahahaha!

anyway, recently on this very specific day not to be known as i wanna keep it unknown, i felt very dissapointed among hearing soem news.

i was on the way back with person A, then suddenly i saw person B, C, and D.

they approached me if i ask i was feeling okay.

i said yes, cause i am unaware of what's happening.

before that something else happen.

i was planning to meet person E and F. but they were late and went MIA. so i went with person A to grab some food as we were both starving.

after so person A wanted to revise a few chapters as exams was around the corner.

then we slacked at this place lets call that place A.

so when we were slacking person B, C, D, E, F, and a few others of their friends came and saw us.

since i THOUGHT we were good friends, so i entertained them by pushing my lazy self to become active.

so yeah, we laughed joked and blah blah blah yada yada.

then person F was doing something on me. so i retaliated.

then the crowd came with a crazy idea to have a mini match.

in the end person F won.

everyone cheered for person F and was like de-grading me.

i wasnt really concerned about the mini fight.

i knew from that moment something wasnt right.

so back to the scene where i met person B, C, D.

person B asked me if i was okay.

i said; yeah? why?

person B said; i pity u. u know those group of people there, they dont like u thats why they did that.

i said; really? even person E?

person B said; duhhh~

i said; uhh, fuck care i know my attitude sucks so what do i care about favouritism. i seriously am very lazy to entertain all this.

person B said; dont tell person F i tell u this.

i said; i wont.

like i said earlier on; uhh, fuck care i know my attitude sucks so what do i care about favouritism. i seriously am very lazy to entertain all this.

but deep down. i feel hurt. and utterly dissapointed with person E.

cause she was a friend whom i trusted. cause in school i m like one lonely bugger and a no-life loser.

when i met her, i felt safe. i confide in her.

did something for her which i stayed up late night for her birthday and about the police case with my family, my sister wanted to call her and do something to her cause my family thinks she's the blame for the rebellious attitude in me. it wasnt her. cause i wanted to be this way.

and at that point of time when i fought against my family was for person A and especially person F.

if the police hadnt gave me a chance, i would be in. cause i fought for her. she doesnt know this. i knew she dont.

i trusted her so much and treat her as a true friend cause my once naive self couldnt trust anyone just in a blink on an eye.

i felt bad and talked to person A on that night. i cried. cause i cant help feeling 'disposed' again.

i know who i am. i admit i m lame and i wasnt there for her always. i m truly sorry. i know theres more she dont like about me.

but person F, why must u do this to me. if u really dont like me, i prefer confronting than making me feel humiliated infornt of a crowd. u could just be straightfoward and i can see what i do to myself cause i wanna be a better person. i dont care abt the mini fight or whatever it is. its nt abt that, bt the point is. why must u show two faces. cant u just be honest?

but to think of it its a waste of time for me to weep over this. i guess, i only got person A in my life. someone whom i really love and appreciated. mom and dad dont care much cause the love isnt the same like what it used to be. i ve lost friends, i ve lost the one close relationship i had with my family, and i ve lost someone who cheat the hell out of me. bt i realize i have to move on. bt this time i lost someone whom i trusted so much. bt life still has to go on. i'll still fight for my rights, pride, friends(person A especially, cause he deserve it) and family.

althought now things have gone haywire. i believe i could still take the blow emotionally. i may not be as strong physically, bt my mind is stronger yet my heart is weak. i easily get used and disposed. thats what major factor i have to change in me.

to mom and dad.

dad, i miss being your little girl that u used to hug in your arms and cry whenever u go to work.
i miss being close to u. but i realized that your attention wasnt the same. all these years of humiliation at home when you're not around, has made me to a negative person and kept a grudge towards u. if only u were in my shoes and felt 6 years of humiliation. i cried but no one bothered. not even you. and now u wanna ask me what wrong u did that i became like this? go find out yourself. i wont be bothered to explain. i had enough of explaining. yet all u do is to debate about it. u think thats help? hell no.

and mom, i m sorry if i m not at home. i m sorry if u cant see your daughter when i come home form work. i just dissapointed with dad. if he really wants to bash me up, tell him do so. dont keep threatening me bt no actions. its pointless, i love u and i love dad too. but i love and miss dad. i m avoiding this. i know u think i heartless. bt its okay. i m fine with it.
and i dont treat u like dogs at home, tell dad if he's a dog, i m puppy. so dont come an act infront of me.

to zul, i know what u heard today hurt u. i sorry bby. i hope u would love me the same way like u do. thanks for being there for me all these while. i owe u alot. for as long as i live, i ll try my best to love you. i ve never felt so greatful to have someone lik you. stay strong with me kay bby.
i love you, and i hope u still do too.

OI! pantat kau soft uh.

2008-11-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

HELLO!

AKU RETARDED AND BIOL!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAH!

K BYE!

lets poke my boyfriend!

2008-10-28T05:33:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION EARTHLINGS!

FROM TODAY ONWARDS, CALL ZUL AS HILMI.

I REPEAT,

HILMI!

okay2. i'll stop, sorry bby, i love you :D

violence

2008-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

the last two days was really something.

let me express it in a, oh well, some sort of poem.

i kept silent as i do not wanna drag
but she gripped me tight like her precious bag
first, i got irritated then slowly i was infuriated
i lost control which ironically made situations complicated
i lost my mind, retaliated and violence broke
'it took three to pin her down!' she spoke
i love what i had in life, and had no intentions to throw it away
but the crowd thought the otherwise, that ruined that day
cops came, and i was breathless and teary
i kept asking if my actions to liberate myself made things went awry
clearly, the answer was a big YES
yet, i didnt want things to be in a mess
when the handcuffs got to my hand, i lie helplessly down
all i could do in that particular moment was to frown
i felt that pain deep within
but the crowd thought i made a scene
after the questioning is done
i was free and i wanted my phone
i wanted to hear the voice of his
to tell him i m sorry and wanna give him a kiss
he came despite the feeling of fear
my heart pounded when he came near
i knew i was about to loose him
but she say he'll stay even when the world's dim
even though he was pissed, i thank god i havent lost my love
the one that brought my spirits high above
i m glad that all was in the past
now its time to start a new, but dont do it fast
i learnt something important on that day
kind of hard to eleborate but after that it left me gay :D

rebel

2008-10-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

its been a while since i blog actually. my computer went haywire, so yeah, it sucks. but hey, i m back.

about my examination results. i flopped. alot. expecting to get an F in maths. the rest everage. but maybe a D or E is humanities. i ve never dont this badly before. to my mommy, i m the girl that scores A's in her studies and bring back $250 as i normally qualify for bursary. but unfortunately, that girl is gone mommy. but i assure u she will come back. cause frankly. i need a break.

alot of things has happened lately. especially in family wise. i can be rebellious but i rarely choose to. to me rebeling only occurs if someone or something crosses my line. something personal i ve been keeping, but not to be told here. (hey, its a blog, opened to public) it bugs me and till one day, i had enough. so the little devil in me arouses and a started to become rebellious. i am not like this. and trust me my parents are something, but hell yeah i still love them despite some unhappiness between us. being rebellious put me in a hazardous state.

once my mom tried to be comprehensive, she sat and talked to me and yeah, i cried my heart out. for a moment i thought da 'sua'. but not as sua. cause she misunderstand my 'deal' with her. then world war three burst in AGAIN. i wish all this wouldnt happen as i do want to hinhder the relationship between my mom and me. i love her alright.

on the other hand, my sis thinks that my banana cake, zul, was causing me to rebel cause i wanna see him. THAT SHITTY CRAP ALRIGHT! i admit i have been seeing zul when i MIA from home. but he is my sweet escape from all shit that happens in my life. he make me feel better like cough syrup when i cough with icky greening phlegm. HHAHAHAHAHA! but he is not be blamed okay. i wanna meet him and he doesnt force me to meet him wether i can or not. i just hate it when people just think of the stereotype.

dont worry people, i will change when the time comes right :D

AND AND I LEARNT SOME NEW WORDS IN ENGLISH WHICH I FEEL LIKE USING IN SIMPLE SENTANCES. TO MAKE MY SELF SOUND MORE COMPLEX. but trust me, i m not.

MY NAME IS NINA.
I HAVE GOT PLETHORA FATS ON MY FACE AND TUMMY.
I TEND TO GET HYSTERICAL ABOUT PERIPHERAL STUFF.
SOMETIMES I DONT TALK PERTINENT STUFF.
I TEND TO TALK ALOT OF LAME SHIT.
I GET BAFFLED WHEN IT COMES TO TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND.
BUT STILL, I DONT ABHOR HIM, I LOVE HIM!
WHENEVER I MEET HIM, ITS LIKE A DEVATION FROM MY WORRIES.
I GET VERY PISSED WHEN SOMETHING I THOUGHT WOULD BE IMMINENT BUT IT DOESNT.
I DO THINGS THAT LOOK AWRY FOR A GIRL TO DO.
I TEND TO GET INTO A PREDICAMENT WHEN MY PARENTS ASK ME TO CHANGE
I COULD ALSO BE A NICE LITTLE GIRL THAT RESPITES EVERYONE WHEN THEY'RE NOT AT EASE.
STILL NOT MANYTHINGS COULD BE TOLD CAUSE THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ARE STILL ULTERIOR.
ps, my english is not superb, i m trying to sound like as it i come from britain. but it turns out the otherwise :D

BUSY

2008-09-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

I M BUSY WITH EXAMS!

I WONT BE BLOGGING FOR THE MOMENT

so dont bother reading if u have read ald.

about 4 days ago..

2008-09-16T03:03:00.000-07:00

MY PAD IS LIKE BLOODY CHIBAI! YES I AM NOT AFRAID TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD MY VAGINA IS DISCHARGING A RED ICKY YUCKY LIQUID CALLED BLOOD! AND FUCK YOU KOTEX STYLE. I VE BEEN WEARING KOTEX STYLE FOR 1 YR SUDDENLY IT CAUSES ME TO HAVE NAPPY RASH -___-

BUT WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ TAK PAYAH PUASE *perangai setan*

anyway on saturday i made a cake for marxie that looks like tubbie toasted from teletubbies.

and on sunday i stayed at home.

on monday which was yest, i went to school. banyak cikgu tak datang. BAEK PEEEEERRRR~ but i was a good girl and i did revision. after school i went to meet marxie, kid, erica. slack with them outside civic. then i start my perangai mepek. and kidd ask "macam mane kau dapat kawan macam gini?" HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH! after so, i went to meet my prince :D he brought his friend along. but soon we lost them. they go makan -__- anyway went to get my pics. then i showed him my pics, it was almost all his selenger bachen face. HAHAHHAHA! so we did art then, suddenly hanis' sister caught me with zul and she piker laen and told farah hanis sha and all start to think i did something OH-SOME. wth! then after that we went kfc and i miss my ex-workmates yawwwwwwww! then my prince went back and so do i.

about today, i was late or school. no fucking mood at all. i didnt study for SS test. bloody fuck. and sure i did badly. i was not in any mood. fucking weak. fucking moody. then after school da bes, we had a break to wait for math remedial. then suddenly i saw fiona came into the classroom and dengan muke slumber makan pau infront of me. NEVER AJAK ME UH FIONA! then i told her i cnt puase and i ajak her go buy more food. then the rest of the girls who didnt puase too all tag along. kiter buat muke slumber go canteen and bought snacks then smuggle up into the class. then we eat pt blakang kelas mcm anak larian tak makan sepuluh tahun. HAHAHHAHA! then just now during maths class, the whole class mepek. macam macam suare dan ketawe sini sana.

now lets do something random shall we?

THIS PICTURE IS A TRIBUTE TO SHA! SHE HAS BEEN MY CLASSMATE FOR 3 YEARS AND SHE MEPEK WORSE LIKE PEPEK! AND SHE IS VERY PRETTY AND I LOVE HER BOOBS. THIS IS HER MOST SEDUCTIVE PICTURE EVER!

SHA! KAU SEXY AHHHHHHHHHH~
I LIKE YOU MAN!
ps, i am not a lesbian. i have a boyfriend and i love him. ouh yah he loves me too. kay, info tak perlu :D

I LOVE THE BOY WHO LIVES IN THE EAST-SIDE BEBEH :D

about yesterday

2008-09-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

today i m gonna talk about yest. cause today is practically boring nothing musch happened. just went school. then go tutor my student. then i went to meet my PANJANG MAN :D then i went back. met marxie and jadi giler. then go home.

YESTERDAY WAS FUNNNNNNN~
i forced panjang man to puase. then i met him and we all buke puase.
AND YESS! I MANAGE TO BITE HIM~ NYAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!
he had wanton me and i had fish slice noodle.
then we went to fullerton and panjang man is mcm orang giler.
first he scream like a gay(he is one anyway) then after that he disturb tourist. disturb joggers. and tickle me like fuck.
okay we have fun and i have to go now :D

ouh yah! i forgot, i love my panjang man bebeh!

got a problem with that huh? *kening wave continuosly*

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES.

pussy tongue!

awwwwwwwwww~
mulut jubo bebbbb~
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PICTURE!
he looks like an ah-beng is high on drugs. i look like i potential apek.

tired

2008-09-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

TODAY I TOOK STUPID GAMBAR!

MAKING SONG ABOUT "TODAY SUCK"

AMACAM?! FASHION TERBARU BABE!

i am freaking tired. sumpah mintak kenek garok uh ni mate. very blooody sleepy.

in the morning, my mom asked wake me up then i sat with my eyes closed. this was the conversation that happened.

MOM: NINA! BANGON LAHHH~ BUKAK MATE!

NINA: tengah bukak mate ni~ *still closing eyes*

MOM: AMEK TUALA!

NINA: nak amek tuala buat ape ma?

MOM: MANDI LAH! KAU DA LAMBAT!

NINA: kene mandi eh ma? sorry, lupe uh.

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

i was late for school. while waiting i hug my bag and sleep, i slept in english class when mdm arfa went monotonous and it sounds so soothng to me. how ironic. hahahahahahhahha!

then maths class i was hyper. me and alesha mcm budak bodo.

i made stupid noises and miss wong asked "who is making that sound"

then i asked a bonus question to sha "cikgu boleh dengar eh?"

then sha was being sacarstic and say "TAK LAH NINA! TAK DENGAR!"

then i alesha told me about how moody she gets everytime she wakes up in the morning.

then i asked her "biler kau bangon tido?" HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH! trust me i was fucking blurr :D

then i go home. i watch mtv. teros tertido. then my prince wake me up, not with a kiss but with a telephone call -__-

then i talked all the way till da nak dekat buke. then i buke, i had tom yam soup :D

I BLUSH BLUSH!

2008-09-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

today i had debate class. quite interesting though. we debated about 'abortion should be legalized'. and i had to proposed to it. yeah. we won the case! and when they announced the best speaker, it was zulaikha. but in the end the teacher told me that it was a mistake. it was me! *nina kembang* HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHA! but of course, thank you teachers for your compliments. but i m afraid if they pick me up for competition. I WOULD FREAK OUT! SERIOUSSS~~

then after debate i went to jumpe mr panjang and friends! trust me, I MISS HIM ALOT! then we lepak2. we had buke, i didnt puase. i bought food for mr panjang and me to share and bought him a can of pepsi. then he sent me to the busstop. then my perangai mepek start. i ask him to buat muke bodo and i demand to see his ketiak but tak dapat. PFFT!
*we had our first kiss*

okay, da malam. i wanna chow.

I LOVE YOU PANJANG MAN :D

I FEEL LIKE JUMPING SEPERTI MONYET!!

2008-09-08T00:34:00.000-07:00

TODAY SOMETHING WONDERFUL HAPPEN WHEN I WAS USING MY HANDPHONE IN CLASS <3
*i m soo happpppppppppyyyyyyyyy*

hello im zulhelpme! !

2008-09-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

YO YO YO PEOPLE! !

guess who's the guest of honour today????

well of course, im zul ! ! also known as zulhelpme. people know me mahs, coz im so like the superstar. right right?? hahahahaha

nina wonder is currantly-

On the hospital bed reading Spiderman Comic Books n thinking what to write on MY blog post. She got into hospital cause she fall from a bike. i meant, fall from a bicycle. CAUSE SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO RIDE A TWO-WHEEL BICYCLE. (juz kidding lerrr).

hahahahahahahaahah *fcking evil laughs*

guess what???

im seriously dunnoe what to post much about. so i shall just hantam post ok??

nina wonder told me to write bout fake stuffs about her as well as good stuffs about her. Well, let me guess eh . . .

*thinking*

. . . . . . . . .. . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .

*still thinking*

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . .

*7 days later*

*light bulp lights up*

jeng jeng jeng ! !

i know what to write about nina!

About Nina : Nina was born somewhere @ San Fransisco. She grew up @ the Salt Lake City. Haba haba haba ! ! kay that part is nonsense. :D So she started high school when shes 9. She was expelled cause she accidentally use a magic spell on one of her Sex Teacher. She made created a dick for that teacher? wow. See not? Nina's fcking Evil eh?! Well that teacher obviously deserved that. Wanna know why? That is a guy without a dick. So nina wants to help that GUY WANNABE. So, that teacher(Mr Kieron Brody) was not happy about his dick. His dick was a lil bit crooked. okay luh thats all.

lets get of from this topic.

GETTING SO VERY FCKING NONSENSE ! !

nina is nice girl. VERY VERY nice . right right??

*kening naik naik*

ya luh, shes nice. TOWARDS ME luh, but i have no idea how nice she is towards other people.

EH EH EH! ! and also ! ! she got a cool awesome squeking cute nose which i always like hearing it cause it always goes *squek squek ! * cool right? very fcking cute nose luhhh. I dun really know much about her actually. the nose only is the source of telling me how good it sounds like. it goes *squek squek squek !! *

lerrr! ! currantly nina ask me to end writing this post. should i end this now??

okay luh people, i should end this now. Cause nina waiting already.

catch me on teevee! !

pictures i took yest, seriously, i m out of topics

2008-09-06T02:11:00.001-07:00

-.-
aku sayang adek aku!
zultaik nak blowjob, lihat mulutnya :D

here i am still feeling so paiseh about just now.

MR PANJANG KNOW ALREADY!! SHIT ASS!!

SO MALU SEH!!

just now i was over reacting and hyper vantilating (sorry farah i pinjam your term, later i give you back) like etbtvewtewvhdfhsafhds~

and i thought i syoink sendiri, bt not really. i didnt. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

and now, i was wondering. what should i tell kody. i know i shouldnt drag but how?

kody is really really nice. i feel so bad. but at the same time, if i stick to kody, i wont be happy at all. cause he is not the one that i love. people gimme suggestions like just be mean and just tell the truth. true enough i can be very mean. but not to the somebody who is innocent. i know how would he feel okay. but to think of it, would he know how i feel?

SOMEBODY! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

*sounds like, zulhelpme. hahaha*

bad religion

2008-09-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

i am currently bra-less, have air liuh basi yang kering pt tepi pipi, and rambot kena current.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kay, whatever.
yesterday mr panjang talked on the phone with me again.
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he made me smile besar2 and laugh many2. he cheer me up from the allegations my mom put upon me. and i wonder who is the chibai bastard go make up strory to my mom.
HE OR SHE WILL EAT PUSSY NENEK DIER YANG BUSOK BER-ROTTING-ROTTING!!!
FUCK YOU SMELLY ASSSSSSSSSSS~
and and, i told mr panjang that he looks comel when he smile big big :D

anyway, i m in love with this song. till i hafal the lyrics and lipsyncheeeeennnggg this song pt dalam bus like bapak aku nye bus. HERE ARE THE LYRICS! SING ALONG WITH ME KIDS :D

There's a place where everyone can be happy.

It's the most beautiful place in the whole fucking world.

It's made of candy canes and planes and bright red choo-choo trains,

And the meanest little boys and the most innocent little girls,

And you know I wish that I could got there.

It's a road that I have not found.

And I wish you the best of luck, dear.

Drop a card or letter to my side of town.

Because there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend,

But baby I'm amazed at the hate that you can send and

You... painted my entire world.

But I... don't have the turpentine to clean what you have soiled.

And I won't forget it.

There's a place where everyone can be right,

Even though you remain determined to be opposed.

Admittance requires no qualifications:

It's where everyone has been and where everybody goes.

So please try not to be impatient,

For we all hate standing in line.

And when the farm is good and bought,

you'll be there without a thought,

And eternity, my friend, is a long fucking time.

Because there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend,

But baby I'm amazed at the hate that you can send

andYou... painted my entire world.

But I... don't have the turpentine to clean what you have soiled.

And I won't forget it.

mr panjang :D

2008-09-03T21:28:00.000-07:00

today i feel like sial. i dont know why. but i dont feel like going dance. i ve totally lost intrest. and lagi lagi just warm up then i got nothing to do. pfft. boring man. besides. its senore and sec 3's is not compulsary to dance right? i'll just wait for SYF. trust me, the china instructor warm up kills me. she's forever with her splitting stuff. oh whatever. anyway i feel like cabot and go simei. i wanna share money with zultaik to buy ciggies. yeah i know, i m bad. but i dont really care.
today i am not fasting. i woke up in the morning and stuff but i dont fast. just pretend :D

yesterday i told something to marxie. and she knew before i told her. but i cant possibly tell yet what i was it. but i realize i have a huge huge crush on my friend, lets call him 'mr panjang', but i cant possibly be with him. we're just good friends. on the other hand, kody wants me badly. but i cant. for 3 reasons.

if i go into another relationship, i'll get into deep deep taik with my mother.
i need a break from this gf bf stuff.
I M NOT READY FOR ANYTHING YET!

I feel very awful, cause kody sacrificed so much for me and i dont. people say better tell before its too late. BUT ITS TOO LATE!!! he told ppl that i am his GF! ppl that i dont even know at all who are red sleeve. i was quite shocked when red sleeve told dhoby tyrants that i was kody's gf. as usual, i complained to him but he told me to just to buat bodo. HOW CAN I BUAT BODO! SO DISTURBING SIAAAAAA~ but anyway, kody is like thee most huggable masam punk teddy bear :D

but somehow, my heart somehow belongs to mr panjang. but i know i can never be with mr panjang. its like a dream. he treats me like any other friends. i know i meant nothing to him. maybe by blogging abt this it made me feel better. at least i told the world that i really really like mr panjang. although, he doesnt know, i m fine with it. cause i know he'll read this. my soon to be is kody of course. but lets just keep mr panjang sealed in my heart. i'll just msg him every single day to make sure we stay friends and he wont get out of my sight.

MR PANJANG! YOU MAKE ME BLUSH LIKE BLOODY FUCK! I HATE THE WAY YOU CARM ME! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

that's why i still fucking like you alot!! *i hope you call me tonight*

first post

2008-09-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

its my first post and yes, i am jakon. okay, maybe not. my blog is simple. very simple. and CREDITS TO KASMAN FOR MY BLOGSKIN :D
But the irritating thing is that i cant see the dinosour on the right-side of my blog. there is suppose to a dinosour okay. dear god, why can't i see the dinosour? what sins have i done? why must this fate fall upon me? WHY?! WHY?! I WANNA SEE THE DINOSAUR! kay, stop it.
anyway, i aint sure how use this thing properly. i m very old-pesen. i don't really know how to use blogs actually. that's why i prefered to be spoon fed with a sendok abt doing this blog stuff. nina is lazy, my family and friends know that.
anyway today is practically boring. i m going to simei later on. to meet dice, buy nicotine from him. gahhhhhhh~ my addict for nicotine is getting higher. then later going to marsiling to meet marxie and friends. actually today i m fasting but i cant. not because my vagina is bleeding. its because i went drinking on national day and it takes 40 days to clense off. anyway, drinking is sinful. and hell yeah i m full of sins. so that's why i am PROPERLY fasting next week onwards. for this week, i ll just put up a show aite?
so today i ll be smoking. and i ll be eating behind my parents. i promise my mom i ll change but hey, CHANGE IS NOT OVERNIGHT RIGHT?
today i also didnt attend neethu's bio lesson. fuck! i hate that bitch. but she loves me -__-
i practically overslept. cause yest i didnt sleep one whole night. i can't sleep again. i guess i had too much sugar intake during break fast that made me super hyper-active. so what did i do the whole night? revise on my 'KNOWLEDGE' (you dont have to know what i m studying. nothing to do with school.)
okay, i m now out of words. CHOW!